I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Is Oprah even human
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
