dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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