Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
