remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
he fucked my hip out of place.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
