i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
im holly from the hills drunk
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Randomize
