At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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