Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Be still, my beating vagina.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
