I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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