I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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