i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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