Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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