I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
