we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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