Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
