I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
