wat bout pragnant strippers??
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I think i got beer on your cat.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
