you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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