Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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