this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
