Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
