Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
