Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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