honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
