i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Pooping to opera.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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