if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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