I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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