I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
