dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
