I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
