It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
