he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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