The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
