my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
