I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
