I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
