1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
