I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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