FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
