My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
