He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
