I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
