so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
