i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
