Yo dont text me then not text me
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
