it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
