seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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