A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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