i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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