stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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