I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
He kissed a someone with a penis
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
