Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
