Rock
Scissors
Fuck
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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