Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
