What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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