two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
