Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
